On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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