): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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