"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize