I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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