so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize