I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she peed on how many people?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
