She went from zero to smokin in five shots
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
