had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
