Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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