i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
