id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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