You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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