I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
