In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
