omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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