he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
