do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
