After last night, I could never be a politician.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
