did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
