i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
