She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My vagina just clenched in fear
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
