Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
