I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
