dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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