My nipple is on Facebook.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dignity is for republicans.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
