I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
