Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
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