Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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