There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize