I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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