He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
