so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize