doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize