All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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