you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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