So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
