Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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