I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
