Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
