I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
