we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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