You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
