let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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