Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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