You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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