my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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