That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
