I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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