You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
