Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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