I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We are two peas in an std pod
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
