so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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