remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
