I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
