I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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