she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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