I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
