Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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